We are all artists…until the third grade

We are all artists…until the third grade. Someone then tells us that we are not, and have we come to believe the lie.

@iamfujimura from twitter

For me, this happened in the sixth grade.

Until that point, I was known as an artist. Then I went to a new school and Joseph Meeks who sat right next to me could draw anime. Now, this would have been in the late 80’s so anime was still pretty underground in the US and his drawings were so much more expressive and exotic and fun than the comic book copies I was making. I don’t remember the exact situation but I remember I was about to draw something for a buddy and someone else remarked “no have Meeks draw it, he’s way better.”

I remember putting away my sketchbook and pencils and I don’t think I drew for a while after that. I picked it back up a little in high school, then a little after that, and then put it away again for years. Some peoples journey is a straight line but mine dips hard like a stock market graph of the 80’s.

God put this unique thing in us to express ourselves with stories. Comedians tell stories, directors tell stories, photographers tell stories, writers tell stories, illustrators tell stories. It’s like we are wrapped with artistic intentions but they’re made out of paper, so they get shredded so easily.

But the shredding is an illusion. It’s a lie. We are artists. The imposter syndrome is us believing the lies the world has covered us with instead of forging ahead into the identities that God crafted us with from the start.

I’d like to say it gets easier, but I don’t know; I’ve been on a streak of making art consistently for years now and *daily* I’m struck with the lie.

“This isn’t very good.”

“I think I got worse.”

“That guy is way better than me.”

“Ugh, why can’t I get better.”

I’ve learned that trick isn’t *not* to be exposed to any lies. That’s unreasonable and honestly, the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. The trick is keep going despite the lies. You first hear them in the third grade or the sixth but it’s not that they didn’t exist before, it’s that you didn’t hear them. And artists the keep making stuff do so in spite of the lie.